So if you saw my journal here:
My DA watchers.... my friends... my family....... You... probably won't get anything form me for a long time..... my.... my grandmother... I just..... I need a lot of time guys...
You are no doubt aware I took a brake from submitting anything.
I think it's time I talked about why
, how it's affected me
, what I've been doing
, and what is going to come next for me
.So my first point; Why?
My grandmother, who I was really close to, who I could tell anything to, and that I lived with, passed away in late October. It was like a punch to the heart for my whole family. She was the center of our world, and it is so hard being without her now. Even now, over a month later, I'm still tearing up bringing all these feelings back up. But I know I have to, or I won't be able to get back to being myself.
My Nan got really sick with Pneumonia, and she wasn't fit-as-a-fiddle even without pneumonia. She was in the hospital for a while, then she passed away. The days that followed were torture and full of tears and breakdowns between everyone in my family.Second Point; How It Has Affected Me.
To be honest, I tried to stay strong for so long, my Grandfather lost his wife, my dad lost his mother, so I tried so had to be a rock for them. I hid my break downs by hiding in my room, and found comfort in my perfect girlfriend Mika (Those of you who know me very well know about her). I lost the motivation to draw, write, do anything
for a while.
But then I realized my nanny wouldn't want me to stop doing the things I love. She loved my art, it wasn't the best but she praised it, and would never let me talk bad about how it looked. She's my inspiration for everything I do.
It's still hard for me, especially now that it's December, 'the month of family'
in my life. The past 3 years, Christmas has sucked for my family. It just never felt like Christmas anymore to us. And this year is shaping up to do the same.
This year I will be forced into the company of people who are still in mourning, and even now, after 20 years of my life, don't even really know me. But this is a rant for another time.Third Point; What I've Been Doing.
After about two weeks since her passing, I started trying to get back to the me that she knew I was. I've been trying so hard to get back to being the Kryssie, Angel, Heart, Chii,
that you all have come to know. I took the time to get closer to my family, both biological/marital, and the ones we have come to accept as family. (My honor siblings included.)
As for art wise, I have taken on a few projects that I will not post until they are done, except for this:
These are two images of one of the "WIP" projects I have taken on. I am still working on it, and I am working very hard at it.
This is a Memorial piece to my Grandmother Entitled: "Box Of Angels"
Other than that, I have taken on two "Secret Santa" jobs, and I still intend to work on my nuzlockes. My Grandmother would never want me to stop drawing, when I love it so much.
And on the side, I have been playing The Sims 3. It's an escape for me.Point Four; What Is Going To Come Next For Me.
Aside from my above listed Art projects, I would like to write this book... but you won't hear any of that until it's half done
And above all else, a big change is coming for me after Christmas. My Mika, my love, is moving in with me and my family. She is my saving grace for making this December not be the worst I've had in years.And Lastly;
I would like to thank:
-- My amazing and comforting girlfriend. I love you.
-- Biological Brother
-- Maru's girlfriend, and honor-sister
And a non deviant: My honor-brother Evan
-- You four were, and are, the best of support systems. Thank you so much.
-- for giving me a cyber hug back when I posted that journal.And all of you, my watchers and friends, on Deviant Art.Thank you for being there, either talking to me, or silently supporting my submissions.I would tag all 154 of my watchers with a thank you note if I could.
(I'll add a "THANK YOU" Art to my list of things to do.)
This is Angel, or Kryssie, signing out.